When developing a dating strategy, it's important to identify the resources and support that you need to be successful. Wouldn’t it be great if one of the resources that you could count on when dating is a superpower that would help you determine whether the guy that you are dating is a keeper or a toss back?
Your feelings are that superpower. Listening to your feelings will help you sort potential Mr. Right candidates from all those Mr. Wrongs.
Pay attention to your feelings
How do your feelings help you do that? Say you are dating a new guy and you are feeling unsure, or confused about the relationship. Spend a few minutes sitting quietly with the confusing feeling and ask yourself what else you are feeling.
Perhaps you are able to identify that you are feeling hurt. Next, you ask yourself what am I feeling hurt about? Is it that your new guy didn’t remember to ask about your big presentation? Or, perhaps he is constantly telling you that you are too needy.
Once you have more information about what is causing you distress in the relationship you can determine if and how you might want to take action.
It’s important that you don’t ignore or explain away your feelings. You may have been taught as a child to override your natural preferences and share with your sister when you would have preferred not to.
While learning how to manage our feelings in this way has value, ignoring them when dating can prevent us from identifying a relationship that may not be good for us, or worse
What if you don’t know what you are feeling?
Learning to recognize what you are feeling can be challenging, especially when you’ve been trained not to trust your feelings, or if you have an inner voice that is telling you to second guess yourself.
Many of us have also learned that certain feelings like sadness, fear, anger, or vulnerability are inconvenient and that it is best to try not to feel them at all.
If you are out of practice feeling some emotions, or uncertain about what you are feeling, you may need some help to get back in touch with your feelings. One tool that can help you to get back in touch with your feelings is The Feeling Wheel.
Four ways to use a feeling wheel to connect with your feelings
To identify what you are feeling
If you have an experience that causes a strong emotion or an unexpected feeling arises, but you aren’t sure what you are feeling, the feeling wheel can help. When you have a moment alone, open the feeling wheel, reconnect with the feeling and try to identify the emotion.
I used this approach when a guy that I was dating said things that made me feel cold. I would feel a chill up my back and then in my chest. With the help of the feeling wheel, I realized that I was feeling rejected. Once I was able to identify the feeling, I was able to identify why I had felt it and I realized that my date was making it clear that he didn’t see our relationship as having long-term potential. It was a painful realization, but it helped me end the relationship. Three months later I met my husband.
To train yourself to notice what you are feeling
If you are out of touch with your feelings, it can be helpful to put aside time to reconnect with them. Some people find it helpful to plan a regular time each day to sit quietly and notice what they are feeling.
Another approach is to pause at 3 times during the day for example and notice what you are feeling. If you have a hard time putting words to the feelings, you can use the feeling wheel to pinpoint what is inside.
To identify feelings you might be blocking
During your childhood or other life experiences, you may have learned that some feelings were best ignored or denied. If this is the case, you are losing access to the rich information that feeling those emotions can offer you.
One way to identify suppressed feelings is to read through the feelings on the wheel. Are there feelings on the wheel that you don’t regularly feel or ever? Are there areas of the emotional spectrum that you feel proud to have overcome? If so, these feelings are a rich opportunity for further self-investigation.
When you have full access to your feelings and intuition you will know when you have found your Mr. Right. Your heart will tell you. So start practicing today so that you will be sure to know when you find him!
Ready to find your Mr. Right? Here is one thing that you can do to ensure success.
Ready to find love faster?
As a professional woman, you likely spend a good part of your working life developing annual plans, staffing plans, marketing plans, and financial plans.
If you’d like to know more about how you can develop a dating plan that will reduce your dating drama and help you find a great guy faster, I can help.
My coaching practice is dedicated to ensuring that successful women achieve the same success in their romantic relationships that they've had in their careers.
We all need help sometimes to make our dreams a reality. If you are ready to stop wasting time and to make finding your Mr. Right a priority, the first step is to book a free dating strategy call. On this call, we’ll discuss your needs, dating priorities, and how we can partner to design a customized dating strategy that will empower you to find the relationship you desire with less emotional toll.
About Me
Hi, I’m Rachel Simeone and my coaching practice is designed to empower high-achieving professional women to find the same success in their romantic relationships that they have in their careers. As you follow my signature coaching program, you will learn to escape the misery of awful dates, meet better men and accelerate your ability to find a great partner.
Check out my program to learn more about how we can partner to develop your custom dating strategy to the right relationship.
To get started, schedule a free dating strategy call. On this call, we’ll identify your dating goals, establish your dating style, and discuss a dating strategy that will empower you to find the relationship you desire faster and with less emotional toll.
