The Secret to Sticking to Your Dating Goals

dating mindset
Chalkboard with the words try and success

The first quarter of 2025 is over.  How are your New Year’s dating resolutions holding up?

  • Have you been diligently working towards them?
  • Do you review them regularly?
  • Or, are they a constant reminder of what you haven’t accomplished?

Dating resolutions and dating reality

At the start of a new year, many of my clients dive into dating with enthusiasm, set ambitious goals, and feel hopeful about finding love. They commit to going on more dates, improving their mindset, and being more intentional in their search for a partner.

But the weeks pass and life gets busy. Work deadlines pile up, family obligations take over, and discouragement creeps in. Soon dating falls to the bottom of the to do list, and momentum stalls. Yet to win the dating marathon, you have to stay in the race.

We all struggle

One of my 2025 resolutions was to send my subscribers a monthly email. I already write a regular blog post, but I wanted a more personal way to connect with you to share real client experiences and insights to help you navigate dating more efficiently and effectively

January and February went well. But in mid-February, a close friend - someone I had spoken to almost daily for 25 years - asked me to visit for one last time. She was terminally ill and knew the end was near.

I immediately flew to spend time with her. With the travel and the inevitable sadness that comes from losing someone so dear, I fell behind. Things slipped off my to-do list, including my March email.

What does this have to do with dating?

Making a change is hard. Staying consistent is even harder.

You might begin with the best intentions but life happens. Perhaps unexpected layoffs at work left you stressed and exhausted. Maybe your kids got the flu, and suddenly, dating is the last thing on your mind. Before you know it, the weeks turn into months, and you realize you haven’t been on a date for a while. Does this sound familiar?

Here’s how to get back on track

Recognize the turning point

There’s always a moment when things settle down and you finally have space to breathe. Pay attention to that moment. It’s the moment when you decide to restart your dating resolutions—or abandon them entirely.

Expect resistance

If you’ve studied physics, you know it takes more force to start an object moving than to keep it in motion. The same principle applies to restarting your dating life. When you try to restart, you should expect resistance. Your mind might whisper:

  • Why bother?
  • You probably won't meet anyone you like anyway.
  • You’re just going to stop again.

Ignore that voice. It’s your inner critic.

Remember Past Success

When your mind tries to dissuade you from restarting, remind yourself of past wins. Reflect on times when you had to pause on an important fitness, educational, or career goal and only to successfully restart and succeed.

You’ve done it before. You can do it again.

Start Small

Pick one thing. Not three.Not five. Just one and commit to doing it consistently
Perhaps you commit to setting up one date per week. Or, maybe you decide to journal after each date to practice reflecting on your feelings during a date. Small, consistent actions build real momentum.

Research shows that forming a new habit takes an average of 106 to 154 days. Consistency is the key to long-term success. 

So, what’s one small step you can commit to consistently?

Restart with pride

Once you choose your one thing, take the first step. Give it your best effort. Celebrate restarting. It’s not easy. You’re awesome!

Need help restarting dating?

One important part of my role as a dating coach is helping my clients keep going. There will be ups and downs to dating. Having someone to keep you accountable, and help you rebuild momentum when life throws you off course can help.  It's not about a perfect start; it’s about having the courage and determination to start again.

Good luck!

     

About Me 

Hi, I’m Rachel and my coaching practice is dedicated to ensuring that successful professional women achieve the same success in their romantic relationships that they have in their careers.

If you are struggling with your dating app profile I can help.

I’m here to guide you in crafting an online dating profile that reflects your best self while drawing in the partner you’ve been looking for. With the right approach, dating can become an empowering journey toward the relationship you deserve.

If this resonates with you, let’s connect. A dating app profile call could be your first step toward creating the relationship you’re looking for!

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