Quiet your fears that true love isn’t your destiny

Do you have a voice that is constantly telling you that true love isn’t in your destiny and that you shouldn’t even bother trying to find it? Does your voice tell you that you aren’t enough this or you’re too much that to attract a nice, normal guy?

If you have a voice that is trying to discourage you by pointing out all the reasons you don’t deserve and will never find a great relationship with a nice normal guy, read on. 

How to know if your love life is being run by your negative voice: 

• It uses its favorite words: should, must, and ought. 

• It uses words like always, no one, everyone and never. (Nothing makes the voice happier than to exaggerate and speak in absolutes.)

• It tells you that you don’t deserve what you want. It points out that you already have a successful career and lots of friends. It tells you that should be happy with what you do have.

• It tells you that you can't. One of your voice’s greatest pleasures is to tell you that you aren’t capable of accomplishing your goals. Pay no attention.  

How your negative voice impacts your dating success

Your negative inner voice will do everything it can to make you feel unhappy. It will try to get you to: 

• Give up. Your voice will tell you that no matter how many dates you go on, nothing you do will change and you will never find a great guy. It will remind you of this over and over until you are ready to quit.

• Waste time. Your voice will replay bad dates. It will encourage you to find fault with everything you did. It will cause you to question everything your date said and why he said it. It will trap you in an infinite loop of doubt and analysis.

• Worry. Your negative voice will encourage you to worry about how to respond to a text, what to wear on a date, where to go and what to say. It will exhaust you with worry from your first date to your last.

How to silence your inner voice

The best way to get your inner voice to stop yabbering is to start by noticing it. Just pause for a moment and listen to the voice. Just listen.

A good time to try this is just before you leave for your next date. Spend five minutes writing down everything you are thinking. And, when you come back from the date write down everything you are thinking. Now take a look at what you have written down. Would you say this to a friend? If not, you have caught your voice in the act.

Your voice isn’t going to like this. It is going to try to convince you that you are wasting your time. It is going to suggest more pleasurable pursuits. 

Yet, if you are able, despite the discomfort, to listen to your voice for just a few minutes every day, you will begin to notice an improvement. For once you become aware of your voice, you rob it of its power.  

Closing thought

Your voice won’t go away completely. It will always be there looking for a moment of weakness or uncertainty, so be sure to stay attentive and be careful not to allow it to sneak unnoticed back into your mind and settle in for an extended stay.  

Are you feeling stuck?

If you have tried everything that you can think of to find a real relationship with a great guy but still haven’t been able to find it, I can help.

My coaching practice is dedicated to ensuring that successful professional women achieve the same success in their romantic relationships that they’ve in their careers.

We all need a little help and support to make our dreams a reality. If you are ready to make your dream of finding your Mr. Right a reality, the first step is to book a free dating strategy call. On this call we’ll discuss your needs, dating priorities and how we can partner to design a customized dating strategy that will empower you to find the relationship you desire quickly and with less emotional toll.

About Me 

Hi, I’m Rachel Simeone and my coaching practice is dedicated to ensuring that successful professional women, just like you, achieve the same success in their romantic relationships that they have in their careers. Through my signature coaching program, you will learn how to escape the misery of awful dates, meet better men and accelerate your ability to find a great partner.   

Check out my program to learn more about how we can partner to develop your custom dating strategy to the right relationship.

To get started, schedule a free dating strategy call.  On this call, we’ll identify your dating goals establish your dating style, and discuss a dating strategy that will empower you to find the relationship you desire faster and with less emotional toll.