Frog Kissing: Moving from Dating Disappointment to Dating Success

Many of my clients wonder if being alone is their destiny. They compare the success that they’ve had in their careers with the lack of success that they’ve had in their relationships and wonder if they just aren’t good at relationships. 

Some clients are ready to give up. They've decided that dating isn’t worth their time. 

When I was single, I also wondered if being alone was my future.  If I was too broken to find a healthy relationship.  If trying to find a loving relationship with a great guy was foolish.

The thing that kept me going despite those dark thoughts was “frog kissing”, the idea that you have to kiss a lot of frogs to meet your prince. 

Frog Kissing

Before becoming a dating and relationship coach, I worked in catalog and internet marketing. In catalog marketing, a company has to mail at least a hundred catalogs to potential customers to get even one order. But, that one person’s order makes it profitable to send those one hundred catalogs.

When I started dating, I assumed that to find the man of my dream I was going to need to go on at least a hundred dates. It seemed like a lot, sure, but I figured that as long as I made constant progress toward one hundred dates, I would find my Mr, Right.

The goal of one hundred dates also helped me to realize that anyone date wasn’t all that important. What was important was to get to one hundred. This allowed me to let go of my dating expectations and focus on my dating process.

A key element of catalog marketing is to only send catalogs to qualified prospects who have a high likelihood of ordering.  Similarly, I screened the men I went out with to ensure that there was a high likelihood that we might get along. After all, who has time to waste?

A Dating Plan

If you are trying to get through one hundred dates, you need a plan. A former boss had taught me to “plan your week and work your plan.” At the beginning of each week, he asked his employees to send him a list of what we planned to do that week. At the end of the week, he had us send him a list of what we had accomplished that week. I decided to use that as my model. 

I chose an app that suited me, uploaded a profile and some pictures, and committed to going on two dates every week. I called it Frog Kissing and I planned on having to kiss one hundred men to find my Prince.  (Metaphorically, of course!)  I figured that if I stuck to two dates every week I would find the right guy by the end of my first year of dating. 

It didn’t work out exactly as I had planned.  There were some bumps in the road along the way. I moved and changed jobs. I started traveling for work and some weeks I didn’t have time to go on even one date. Still, I persisted.

In the end, I went on sixty-eight dates over twenty-six months years before I found my Mr. Right.  But find him I did! 

My beautiful dental hygienist, Bianca,  told me that it took her one hundred and thirty-seven dates to find her prince.  “He was out there,” she said.  "I just had to find him."

If you have a background in business, you understand the importance of planning and process. While you may resist applying your business skills to dating, preferring to meet your special someone organically, it's those skills that will enable you to date efficiently, effectively, and meet your special someone faster.  Good luck!

About Me

Hi, I’m Rachel Simeone and my coaching practice is designed to empower high-achieving professional women to achieve the same success in their romantic relationships that they have in their careers. 

As you follow my signature coaching program, you will learn to escape the misery of awful dates, meet better men and accelerate your ability to find a great partner.   For more information about the program and how we can work together check out my website.

Check out the program to learn more about how we can partner to develop your custom dating strategy to the right relationship.

To get started, schedule a free dating strategy call.  On this call, we’ll identify your dating goals, establish your dating style, and discuss a dating strategy that will empower you to find the relationship you desire faster and with less emotional toll.