How to Leverage Dating Coaching to Make it Work for You
One of the most common questions that I get asked about dating coaching is: Does it work?
Does coaching work?
Yes, coaching works. Every year thousands of companies spend millions of dollars on coaching for their senior leaders and they wouldn't do it if there wasn't ample evidence and numerous studies proving that it works. And it not only works for executives. It also works in many other contexts including dating.
However, what most people are asking when they ask if dating coaching work is: Will dating coaching work for me?
How effective dating coaching is for a person depends on a number of factors including
- What you are trying to accomplish
- Who you chose as a coach
- How open you are to change
- How committed you are to changing
Let's a look look at each of these factors individually.
What are you trying to accomplish?
Dating coaching functions best for people who are trying to find a long-term relationship and need help understanding why or how they are stuck. The types of challenges that people bring to dating coaching include things like:
- Understanding why you date the same kind of person over and over.
- How to identify what you want and need in a relationship and how to find a person that meets your criteria.
- How to manage dating anxiety.
- How to reduce disappointment and maintain momentum until you find "the one."
Before you begin working with a dating coach, jot down the things you would like to accomplish during your time with your coach Once you have your goals, be sure to share them with your coach.
Who you chose as a coach
Most coaches offer free sample sessions and you should meet with 3-5 coaches to ensure that you find the one who is the best fit for you. In a free session, the coach should start by talking to you a bit about your goals and then they will likely coach you for 15 - 20 minutes so that you can experience coaching with them. Finally, they should take some time to explain how they work. They should discuss not only pricing, but also how many sessions they recommend, and what time commitment might be involved in addition to the sessions. And, they can also answer any questions that you might have.
You should also make sure your coach is certified. The most common certification is through the International Coaching Federation. This ensures that the coach has proper training and experience and is working within the ethical standards required by the ICF. It will also ensure that what you are receiving is coaching, not mentoring or consulting.
One-on-one coaching and group coaching is most effective so make sure the bulk of what you are paying for is that. While you can self-coaching by reading, listening to videos, journaling, doing exercises, and meditating, self-coaching is going to evoke more sustained change when used in conjunction with one on one coaching.
How open you are to change?
Some people are more open to examining their thoughts and feelings than others Dating coaching will ask you to look at things differently and examine the beliefs that may be keeping you stuck. You will need to be open to doing that in order for it to be most effective.
You may be asked to do homework in between sessions. Or your coach may challenge you to step outside of your usual way of being and try something new. Being open to taking these steps will ensure a more powerful outcome from your coaching sessions.
How committed you are to changing
Change doesn't always have to be hard and expensive, but change can take time. You should plan to commit to at least 4 dating coaching sessions, but you may need 8-12 sessions to ensure you achieve your goals, so be sure to budget for that. Often coaches will offer a specific length package because, in their experience, that is what it takes to create change for their client.
In addition to the time you spend speaking to your coach, you should also assume that you will have homework in between sessions. You will want to schedule a time to complete this work since it will support the work that you are doing with your coach and make it more effective.
If you are ready to schedule some sample sessions with several dating coaches, The Best Dating Coaches for Women lists the top dating coaching for women.
For more tips for working with a dating coach, be sure to read Before you Hire a Dating Coach Ask Yourself These 4 Questions.
Prefer to try self-coaching before jumping in with a dating coach? Here are some dating resources that should help!
Good luck!
About Me
Hi, I’m Rachel Simeone and my coaching practice is dedicated to ensuring that successful professional women, just like you, achieve the same success in their romantic relationships that they have in their careers. Through my signature coaching program, you will learn how to leverage your business skills to meet better men and accelerate your ability to find a great partner.
Check out my program to learn more about how we can partner to develop your custom dating strategy to the right relationship.
To get started, schedule a free dating strategy call. On this call, we’ll identify your dating goals establish your dating style, and discuss a dating strategy that will empower you to find the relationship you desire faster and with less emotional toll.
