How to win at online dating in 2023 easy steps
If you wonder if it's possible to meet a normal guy online, you’ve come to the right place.
I’ve been where you are and I developed this guide to help you master online dating so that you can find a real relationship with a great guy.
If you dare to dream that there is a relationship out there that isn’t a struggle, a relationship that feels easy with a man who appreciates you for who you are, the guide below will help you find him.
Step 1: Choose the right app
Before you rush to put your profile on this site or that site, let’s take a moment to review some key things that you should consider when choosing a dating app.
Be clear on your goal
Are you looking for a long-term relationship or just hoping to hook up? Are you looking for someone your age or are you looking for someone a decade or two younger? Being honest with yourself about your desired outcome will help you identify the dating app most likely to deliver on that goal.
Start the numbers
Numbers are important when you are dating. If you are going fishing, it’s easiest to fish where the fish are and that applies if you are looking for trout or men. The more men on a given app, the more likely you are to meet someone who suits you.
Thanks to Statista, we know that the biggest dating sites in descending order are:
While Tinder and Bumble are enormously popular, they also skew younger.
This is why you will want to choose a site that not only has a lot of users but also has a large number of men in your preferred age group. This is where we start to see that the biggest sites might not be the best solution to your dating goals.
If you are in the 30 to 49 age group, Coffee Meets Bagel and Plenty of Fish are popular with singles your age. If you are over 50, be sure to investigate Silver Singles, or Match.
Evaluate the commitment required
Streamlining the steps to get users online makes sense if you want to maximize sign-ups. And, free apps are going to attract more people than paid services. Thus, apps that require little effort or cost to get started may attract a high number of users, but these users may not be as committed to finding a long-term relationship as an app that requires more up-front effort.
On apps where the cost of entry is higher, either in terms of time or money, you are more likely to find more serious, better-vetted daters. Apps that require longer-form essays, questions, and personality tests will allow you to form a more robust first impression of someone than apps that require a few lines and a couple of photos.
Factor in geography
Some apps are more popular in some locations than others. When I was online dating, Match was the best app for me in Dallas, but once I moved to San Francisco, it became clear that Match just didn’t have enough men in my target age range, so I tried a couple of new apps and settled on OkCupid.
If you live in an area with a limited number of single people, you will want to try several apps to find the one that provides you with the best possible suggestion. Similarly, if you travel for work, expanding your dating to the second location can give you access to an additional group of men that might be more suited to you.
Consider your preferences
If you don’t like an app you aren’t going to use it, so choose one that has an interface that you like. The only way to know if you like an app is to try it. Start by choosing one, or at most two, that seems the most interesting. Try them for a month or two. Are you happy with the results?
Extra tips
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Don’t be seduced by the fantasy of there being one right app where you will magically meet your Mr. Right and if you could just figure out which app that is, all your dating challenges will melt away. The right app is the one you use.
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Stop telling yourself that you can’t meet a nice guy on a dating app. That isn’t true. I met my guy on a dating app and the majority of my clients met their long-term partners on dating apps. Make sure that you leverage the apps properly and you will soon be on your way.
Take action
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Based on the information above, choose two dating sites that you think will be worth trying. If you have a favorite site that is working well for you, you can skip this step
- Now pick up your cell phone, or if you prefer, fire up your laptop and explore the two apps you’ve chosen.
- What is the commitment required to join?
- Are there attractive, interesting men in your preferred age range on the site?
- What is required to put your profile on the site? Pay special attention to this one because we are going to work on your profile next.
Step 2: Write a profile that attracts the right guy
Finding the right partner starts with attracting the right partner, and that starts with your online profile. You need an online profile that accurately reflects you. The real you. The special, quirky you who can run a business, loves steak, and makes your friends laugh until they cry. These are the attributes that will attract the right partner for you.
Here is a guide designed to take you through writing an online profile that represents you in all of your quirky splendor.
Step 3: Develop your dating mindset
If you are like most of my clients, you've had unpleasant relationship and dating experiences that make you question if it makes sense to spend any more time on something that delivers such poor results.
How many bad dates are you willing to go on to find your Mr. Right?
I started my career in catalog marketing and in catalog marketing, we had to send out one hundred catalogs to prospective customers to get one response. Since I was looking for one Mr. Right, I assumed I would need to go on at least one hundred dates.
If you are going to go on one hundred dates, you are going to need a system to get through them as efficiently as possible. Learn more about your dating plan: Frog Kissing: Moving from Dating Disappointment to Dating Success.
Step 4: Stay Safe
My clients have met plenty of nice men while online dating. Some men were better than others for sure, but none of them were criminals. Still, it pays to approach online dating with skepticism and caution. Here are a few key tips to keep you safe.
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Search for your cell phone number on Google. If it appears in the search and can be linked to you, set up a Google voice number.
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Don’t use photos of yourself that you also use for Linkedin, Facebook or anywhere else on the internet. If you have a doubt, use Google image search to make sure the photos you are planning to use on a dating app can’t identify you.
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Limit how much information you share. Information about where you work, volunteer, or go to church can all be used to track you down, so share judiciously.
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Ask your date for his last name and run a Google search on him before meeting him.
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Take public transportation or drive yourself to your date.
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Meet in a public place that is familiar to you.
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Don’t worry about being nice. Trust your intuition.
Do you feel stuck?
If you have tried everything that you can think of to find a real relationship with a great guy but still haven’t been able to find it, I can help.
If you are more of a DIY gal, my site has tons of resources for high-achieving single gals who want to find a great guy without all the nonsense. Check it out.
If you are looking for a customized solution, my coaching practice is dedicated to ensuring that successful professional women achieve the same success in their romantic relationships that they have in their careers.
We all need a little help and support to make our dreams a reality. If you are ready to make your dream of finding true love a reality, the first step is to book a free dating strategy call. On this call, we’ll discuss your needs, dating priorities, and how we can partner to design a customized dating strategy that will empower you to find the relationship you desire with less emotional toll.
About Me
Hi, I’m Rachel Simeone and my coaching practice is designed to empower high-achieving professional women to achieve the same success in their romantic relationships that they have in their careers.
Through my signature coaching program, you will learn how to escape the misery of awful dates, meet better men and accelerate your ability to find a great partner.
Check out my program to learn more about how we can partner to develop your custom dating strategy to the right relationship.
To get started, schedule a free dating strategy call. On this call, we’ll identify your dating goals, establish your dating style, and discuss a dating strategy that will empower you to find the relationship you desire faster and with less emotional toll.
