How to win a dating marathon
A friend and fellow coach, Sara Weeks, posted recently that she has been training for the NYC marathon. I was filled with admiration. I’ve never run a marathon. The idea intimidates me. Me being me, I immediately used the moment to berate myself for not ever having run one.
But, when I considered it more deeply, I realized the NYC marathon is just one kind of marathon and that most of us are participating in other types of marathons. Some people are working to get through graduate school. Some people are writing a book. And some are looking for true love.
Those of you who have read “I Found Love And You Can Too” know that for almost 5 years my marathon was finding a relationship with a quality guy and, that when love came knocking for me, it knocked in French. My partner is French and while he speaks English, his friends and the rest of his family speak French.
You will not be surprised to learn that my current marathon is learning French. For the last 4 years, I have done 2 Duolingo lessons every day. Every. Single. Day.
I will know that I have crossed the finish line of my French marathon when I sit at Christmas dinner with Erik's family and understand the whole conversation. Right now I understand pieces of the conversation, so I’m hopefully at about mile 13 of my French marathon.
Dating is like running a marathon
Dating is a lot like running a marathon because it’s something that you do week by week and date by date. It may at first seem different from other goals. Dating doesn't feel cumulative or have a graduation date. But this is true only if you don’t evolve your dating strategy. If you constantly refine your process as you gain more dating experience and insight into the type of partner you seek, your strategy will become more efficient and, ultimately effective.
The best way to find true love is to become more knowledgeable and expert at dating. Becoming more knowledgeable and expert does not mean becoming more cynical and discouraged. It means finding better ways to overcome the challenges you may face on your way to achieving your relationship goal.
Tips for winning your dating marathon
Here are some tips that should help you cross the finish line faster for your dating marathon.
The best time to start working on your dream is now
Time is going to pass whether you are working on your dream or not. But if you start now, you will be get closer to your dream with each passing year. If your dream is to find a loving, long-term relationship the best time to start frog kissing is today.
Aim for consistency
Choosing to do a little every day can deliver remarkable results over time. Books are written one word at a time. Marathons are run one step at a time. And, finding true love happens one date at a time.
Celebrate your accomplishments
In his book Tiny Habits, social scientist and adjunct Stanford University professor BJ Fogg tells us that research has shown that celebrating your accomplishments is an important part of creating and reinforcing a new behavior. So the next time you try out a new dating behavior successfully, celebrate. It will make it easier to do the next time.
The more time you invest, the easier it gets
There is a reason that practice makes perfect. The more you do something, the more you learn what works and what doesn’t work for you. This is especially important when it comes to dating. By refining your dating strategy, you will make meeting potential partners less stressful, time-consuming and more efficient. You will date more effortlessly and find the right partner for you with less emotional toll.
Setbacks are normal. The key is not to let them derail you.
Most of us have experienced the pain of a relationship that didn’t work out. It can be devastating to put so much hope and work into something only to have it fail.
There are times when you will need to hit pause, reconsider and retrench. That is completely normal when you are working on a big dream.
The key here is to acknowledge your feelings, be gentle with yourself, perhaps even take a short vacation from your goal. Then take a deep breath and start again.
It’s okay to ask for help
If you find that you are super discouraged, that you are dating the same men over and over, or that there are recurring themes that you don't want in your relationships, you may want to consider getting professional help. This is your dream. This is your marathon. Do what it takes to cross that finish line!
How is your dating marathon going? Send me an email and let me know!
Good luck!
About Me
Hi, I’m Rachel Simeone and my coaching practice is dedicated to ensuring that successful professional women, just like you, achieve the same success in their romantic relationships that they have in their careers. Through my signature coaching program, you will learn how to leverage your business skills to meet better men and accelerate your ability to find a great partner.
Check out my program to learn more about how we can partner to develop your custom dating strategy to the right relationship.
To get started, schedule a free dating strategy call. On this call, we’ll identify your dating goals establish your dating style, and discuss a dating strategy that will empower you to find the relationship you desire faster and with less emotional toll.
