How to support your favorite single gal this holiday
While the holidays can be a time of joy, connection, and celebration lurking behind all that holiday cheer can be loneliness and a sense of failure for the single woman. Single women who arrive solo for the holidays with their families are often subjected to the well-meaning but annoying question, "Why are you still single?"
Nearly 45% of U.S. adults are single and while many may appreciate their independence, the holidays can be isolating for those yearning for a long-term relationship. The season’s expectations of togetherness can amplify feelings of “otherness” for the single gal. Single women often feel they bear the responsibility of maintaining friendships with their coupled peers who are busy juggling families and careers.
If you’re lucky to have a fun dynamic, single gal in your life, here are some ways to show her support and solidarity this holiday season.
Call, Invite, Include
Being single can feel like a constant exercise in reaching out. As friends drift into relationships, successful professional women often face the additional hurdle of coordinating their busy schedules with their partnered friend's children and spouses.
So, take the initiative to call your friend and check in with her. Include her in your holiday plans and parties. Make her your plus one when your husband isn’t available and let her know about impromptu plans to go ice skating or build a snowman Even if she has to say no, she’ll know she’s on your mind and feel seen, valued, and included.
Resist Asking for Bad Date Stories
Sure, it can be fun to giggle about outrageous behavior but it can also reopen uncomfortable memories for someone struggling to stay optimistic about finding a partner. Instead of asking about her bad date, when the stories come up, help her move on. Ask:
- What did you learn from that experience?
- What went well?
- What would you change next time?
By steering the conversation away from complaints and toward insights, you can empower her to build resilience and maintain momentum.
Give her honest feedback on her dating profile
If she asks for your thoughts on her dating app profile, give her the gift of honest feedback. Many of us shy away from telling the truth because we are worried about hurting our friend's feelings. But this approach, while trying to be kind, may prevent her from making changes that could allow her to be more successful. So, tell her if her profile is too generic or her photos aren’t flattering. Ask permission to get a male perspective from your husband or boyfriend and share that feedback too.
An updated, compelling profile can significantly improve her dating experience. According to a study by Hinge, profiles that showcase hobbies and values receive 80% more responses than those focusing solely on appearances or generic descriptors like "I love to laugh."
Avoid encouraging "second chances"
When your single friend tells you about a date, believe her. If she says the person isn’t right for her resist encouraging her to “give him another chance”. Recognize that making excuses for bad dating behavior can be especially demoralizing when your friend is subsequently treated badly by someone she had doubts about. Instead, support her decision when she blocks, deletes, or moves on from someone who isn’t treating her appropriately.
Watch what you say
Comments like, “I could never online date” or “I don’t know how you do it” may be intended as empathetic, but they can sound unthoughtful or uncaring to a single person. Remember, dating takes courage, especially in today’s swipe-driven culture.
Give the gift of support
If you’re looking for a thoughtful holiday gift, consider something that actively supports her dating journey:
- A professional photo session to help her create compelling dating app photos.
- An evening of speed dating can help expand her dating options and clients have been reporting that speed dating participants are more relationship-focused.
- A session with a dating coach who can help her identify and overcome unhelpful patterns while creating a strategy to meet high-quality matches. Here is a list of the top dating coaches.
Being single isn’t a problem to be solved, but it can be challenging during the holidays. Thoughtful gestures and kind words can show her that she’s loved, valued, and not alone.
Happy Holidays!
About Me
Hi, I’m Rachel and my coaching practice is dedicated to ensuring that successful professional women achieve the same success in their romantic relationships that they have in their careers.
If you are struggling to find a great partner to date or marry, I can help.
As a coach, I understand that each person's journey to a great partner is unique. That's why I offer customized coaching plans for your situation.
In our work together, we’ll uncover any patterns or beliefs that may be standing in your way and create a personalized path to help you move forward with confidence. I’ll be there to support you every step of the way.
If this resonates with you, let’s connect. A dating strategy session could be your first step toward creating the relationship you’re looking for.
