Dating numbers: reduce the time, energy and hassle of dating
Today I want to talk about a subject that’s near to my heart - how to reduce the time, energy, and hassle required to find a great relationship.
If you’ve read my post Frog Kissing: Moving from Dating Disappointment to Dating Success, you know that a cornerstone of successful dating is the “frog kissing mindset”, anticipating that you may need to go on more than a few dates to find a worthwhile guy.
Still, it’s one thing to set your mind to kissing frogs and it’s another to do it. Especially if you don't love dating.
You may have a lot of reasons, real and imagined, to put off dating
Most of us can find a lot of creative ways to avoid the thing we don't want to do. If your life is already busy, you are going to have a lot of reasons, real and imagined, to put off dating. Things like your day job (which often bleeds into nights and weekends), kids, friends, grocery shopping, meal prep, exercise, laundry, and sleep will all seem like extremely good reasons to put off dating.
So how can you stay on track with your goal to meet Mr. Right and fit it into an already full schedule?
Most first dates never move beyond the first date
The first step is to recognize that the majority of the first dates that you go on are never going to move beyond the first date. Your goal during this first date is to screen your date to determine if this is someone you want to spend more time getting to know better, or if you want to toss him back for some other lucky woman. You aren't going to want to dedicate a lot of time to these dates.
Take a hard look at how much time you spend dating
Let’s say, as part of your dating strategy, you plan to meet men on a dating app and to go on two dates a week. Here are two scenarios of how much time it might take you to execute that plan.
Dating Scenario 1
- You spend a week texting, emailing and video chatting with your potential date before setting a time to meet him. ~ 1.5 hours
- You meet for dinner ~ 1.5 hours
- You agree to meet him 30 minutes from where you live ~ 1 hour round trip
- You take a shower, wash your hair, and reapply your makeup before the date ~ 1 hour
- You rehash the date with a friend afterward ~ 30 min
Dating Scenario 2
- You have an efficient system that gets you from first message to first date quickly ~ 30 minutes
- You meet for a cup of coffee or a glass of wine ~ 45 min
- You agree to meet him 15 minutes from where you live ~ 30 minute round trip
- You showered that morning, so all you need to do is put on lipstick and change out of sweat pants before the date ~ 15 minutes
- When a friend asks about the date you share that he wasn’t the one and move on to other topics ~ 5 minutes.
If you put these two scenarios into an excel spreadsheet and calculate how much each one takes, the first date would take 5.5 hours while the second date would take 2.5 hours, less than half that amount of time. If you multiply the time it takes to go on one date by 50 first dates, the first scenario would take 275 hours, more than twice as much time as the second scenario.
If we consider that most of the time that you save will be the time that you are spending on men who will never be your Mr. Right, you can see that having an efficient first date plan is an important part of any efficient dating startegy
You can adjust the numbers in the spreadsheet to reflect how you are meeting men, whether you are speed dating, or spending Sundays in a sports bar enjoying football. Once you understand how much time you are spending on this initial meet and greet, you can streamline the process so that you are spending minimal time on this screening step. This will give you more time to spend with those dates that have long-term potential.
We all get to choose how to spend our time, so let’s agree today to reduce the amount of time that we spend on men who will never be Mr. Right!
Ready to meet your Mr Right? This post on the one thing you can do to ensure success will help!
Still stuck?
If you have tried everything that you can think of to find a great guy but still haven’t been able to find him, I can help.
My coaching practice is dedicated to ensuring that successful professional women achieve the same success in their romantic relationships that they’ve in their careers.
We all need help sometimes to make our dreams a reality. If you are ready to make your dream of finding Mr. Right a reality, the first step is to book a free dating strategy call. On this call, we’ll discuss your needs, priorities, and how we can partner to design a customized dating strategy that will empower you to find the relationship you desire quickly and with less emotional toll.
About Me
Hi, I’m Rachel Simeone and my coaching practice is dedicated to ensuring that successful professional women like you, achieve the same success in their romantic relationships that they have in their careers. Through my signature coaching program, you will learn how to escape the misery of awful dates, meet better men and accelerate your ability to find a great partner.
Check out my program to learn more about how we can partner to develop your custom dating strategy to the right relationship.
To get started, schedule a free dating strategy call. On this call, we’ll identify your dating goals, establish your dating style, and discuss a dating strategy that will empower you to find the relationship you desire faster and with less emotional toll.
