2023 Dating News: The best dating articles from the web
Bumble's 2024 dating trend predictions
11/15/2023: Mashable
This is the first article about dating trends that I have read in a very long time where the trends are actually encouraging. Take a look and see if you agree with what Bumble sees as the state of dating these days.
Dating app Hatched brings its hidden profile concept to the East Coast
11/13/2023: TechCrunch
Half of me thinks this new dating app sounds kind of fun... a bit like a treasure hunt and part of me thinks it sounds like a lot of work. At least the questions are developed by a team of therapists and focus on important traits like core values, interests, and character. Will you give it a try?
Is Online Dating Making You An Easy Target For ‘Sextortion’?
11/10/2023: Forbes
I don't usually post articles like these, however, in this one, the author makes two important points. First, scammers increasingly using sophisticated techniques to exploit dating app users. Second, "if someone you matched with seems to be exactly what you are looking for, they could be making up a persona as they go." The more they learn about you, the more information they have to manipulate you."
I have recently had a spat of calls from successful, professional women who are in long-distance relationships with men they have met only once. They have been texting with and speaking to these men for months or even years. Plans for subsequent meetings fall through for seemingly plausible reasons that reoccur regularly. In every case, the woman has said to me that these men check all their boxes yet, there is always a notable disconnect between what these men say and what they do.
It's important to protect yourself emotionally and financially when you are using a dating app, so before you give your heart to someone, be sure to spend meaningful time with them. Go to their house, and meet their family and friends. Love the person they are not the person they say they are.
I’m a relationship expert — here’s the equation to find ‘the one’
9/28/2023: Nypost.com
I have a love/hate relationship with this article. It's improbable that you would ever interview 100 candidates for a job, so it's a solution that is based on an impractical scenario. I also worry that daters might use a past relationship as the benchmark person, not one of the 37 people one of the 37 people that they have been on a recent date with. It is important that daters don't give in to that temptation.
What I do like about the article is that it floats the idea that you have to go on some dates to understand your potential dating pool. You may not need to go on 37 dates, but you may have to go on a dozen or so. Finally, you may need to go on a lot of dates to find someone who is better than your benchmark and who thinks that you are better than his.
5 Online Dating Message Stats from 2023
8/24/2023: DatingAdvice.com
This excellent article is filled with dating statistics to help you win at online dating. Be sure to look at the information on dating app messaging. Also, interesting was the information on men who like country western music. It may be time to dust off your cowboy boots!
How Hinge's Algorithm Decides Who You Date
8/21/2023: Gizmo
If you are frustrated with dating app, this is yet another reason not to put all your eggs in that basket. Be sure to spend some time each week meeting new people IRL. Take out your earbuds, smile at strangers, and talk to the person next to you on the subway. It's worked for before dating app and it can work for you!
A new dating app launched in San Francisco. 6,000 have already signed on.
6/25/2023: SFGate
Attention San Francisco daters: If you can imagine a dating app where you go from first match to first meet in your very first message, this app is for you! Soon is a dating app that encourages you to get off the app and meet IRL. It had been developed to address one of the main pain points of daters, endless texting, and few in-person meetings. It will be interesting to hear how it works!
Singles are trying to 'game' dating app algorithms with elaborate tactics. It's a huge waste of time.
6/04/2023: Inside
Moving On From Being Ghosted Without the Final Goodbye
5/20/2023: Shondaland
Your life partner is the biggest career choice you’ll ever make: Here’s how to get it right
5/20/2023: Fortune
My Dating App Method May Be Unorthodox, but Good Lord Does It Work
4/10/2023: Slate
What I love about this article is how the author was able to transform her relationships with dating apps from beleaguered to empowered. I also loved that she had a system for determining which type of guy was the best fit for her and that she focused on value and personality traits feminist and acerbic sense of humor over external factors like a summerhouse in France.
Process dating is the fastest way to find a partner, as this article shows.
Welcome to the Era of Optimisation Dating
4/10/2023: Vice
While I wouldn't ask the same questions as Christine Gwaze, what I love about this article is that each woman in the article is clear on what she is looking for and develops an effective process to find and screen potential matches. While, as the author notes, this type of dating might feel "unromantic", so does going on bad date after bad date. By switching their mindset toward dating from romance to the dating process, these women ultimately found authentic romance.
Love You on Tinder. On Hinge, Not So Much
2/6/2023: New York Times
Singles often use more than one dating app to improve their chances of finding an app. And, they often use different profiles on different apps. While on Hinge users tend to present a more sophisticated version of themselves when they shift to Tinder their profile tends to contain more party and even kink. Another reason that you should try several apps before settling on the right one for your relationship goal.
Modern romance is dead, and Tinder killed it
1/24/2023: The Michgan Daily
This article is full of helpful information about how dating apps manipulate us. They profit from relying on gamification to keep users addicted and swiping. While none of this is new news, it is important to keep in mind when using dating apps so that you don't fall victim to their manipulation. A solid dating strategy will help you put the appropriate boundaries in place so you aren't unwitting sucked in.
Singles will ditch a bad date in a surprisingly short time, study says
2/6/23: New York Post
What I find surprising about this article is that there seems to be an assumption that 51 minutes is considered a short amount of time to endure a bad date. I would argue that once you know that your date isn't a match, you should end it as quickly as possible. Continuing a bad date is a waste of your time and your date's time. If you hope the date will improve, stay, but if you are certain that your date is not for you, the best course of action is to end the date. This is one of the reasons that I always recommend a short first date. A glass of wine can be drunk in 51 minutes. Dinner takes longer.
In the Dating World, Crafting the Perfect Message Is Its Own Art Form
1/12/23: New York Times
If you feel that you are getting stuck texting endlessly with potential matches, one of these services might be the answer. It's certainly worth a try!
12/07/22: CNBC
Want a successful first date? Consider making it a sober one.
This is great advice for serious daters. Alcohol may ease the awkwardness of a first date, but as the article points out, it does lead to the perception that it's more of a hook-up than a first date.
12/06/22: Vogue
I’ve Been On 12 First Dates This Year. Here’s What I’ve Learned
This article has some helpful insights on dating. I love that she kept a journal and that it helped her to see that "often the pleasure in dating is not what you learn about the other person, but what you learn about yourself."
12/2/22: New York Post
How well do you know the world of online dating?
Most online daters won't be surprised to learn that people lie in their dating profile. But I did find this dating nugget interesting and it confirms what my single clients have found: "If you’re looking to settle down and get into a serious relationship, the poll found that Match.com is the best option (36%), followed by eHarmony (35%)."
11/11/22: New York Post
Why Situationships Are More Painful Than Real Relationships
If you are looking for an LTR, it is better to stay true to that goal than to compromise with a situationship. Here's why.
10/26/22: Glamour
Inside the Secret Facebook Group Where Women Review Men They’ve Dated
This not-so-secret Facebook group, Are We Dating The Same Guy, sounds like a Glassdoor for dating. I love Glassdoor and am onboard for any service that is designed to protect and empower women!
10/19/22: Newsweek
Scientists Figure Out How to Get Way More Matches With Your Dating Profile
10/17/22: Atlantic
The Complexities of Human Love
This a thoughtful piece on why dating apps are not delivering on our expectations.
9/27/22: New York Times
How Long Does It Take to Fix a Marriage? Give the Gottmans 7 Days.
I love the Gottman's work and thought this article is worth reading.
9/10/22: Well + Good
Why People Are ‘Reverse Catfishing’ on Dating Apps—And Whether It’s Ethical
I love this idea and I think it can be very effective for women. Instead of posting airbrushed, hypersexualized photos often recommended for women on dating sites, why not try some friendly, girl next door photos and see how that changes the type of man who contacts you?
9/7/22: PCMag
Use Tinder? Here Are the Right Words to Get a Right Swipe
This article is worth reading even if you aren't using Tinder because the information can be leveraged for dating profiles on other dating apps.
It gives the dater insight into words that are compelling to potential matches and it confirms that you should share your relationship goals in your profile, whether that be a LTR or something more casual.
9/6/22: InStyle
If You're Exhausted By Swiping, It's Time to Try 'Quiet Quitting' Your Dating Life
What does quiet quitting look like when you are dating? It's about setting clear boundaries and avoiding extremes when dating whether that be spending most of your free time dating or quitting entirely in disgust.
9/6/22: PCMag
Sneaky Algorithms, Video Calls, and Dick Pics: Secrets From a Dating App Founder
I love this article because Gleam founder Lizz Warner shares two crucial insights for daters looking for a long-term relationship. The first insight is that “Apps like Hinge, Bumble, Tinder—all the big ones—make more money when you stay on there. As soon as you’re in a relationship, they lose you as a user.”
Even if you aren’t paying to use an app, they are still benefiting from your presence on the site, and it’s important to realize that. As a dater, your goal is to use your app of choice as a tool to connect you with potential partners and get off ASAP
The second insight that Lizz Warner share shows us the path to getting off the apps. She says that on Gleam, as soon as you match with someone the app is designed to schedule a 10-minute video chat, “in a bid to get straight to the most meaningful human connection, as soon as possible.”
By quickly moving from swiping and texting to a phone call, a video call, or, better still, an in-person date, you are able to screen potential matches until you find that special someone. I call it dating by the numbers.
9/2/22: Wired
‘Date Me’ Google Docs and the Hyper-Optimized Quest for Love
Here is a new approach to finding love. What I love about this is that people are taking back their power and approaching dating in a way that works for them.
9/3/22: New York Times
‘A Decade of Fruitless Searching’: The Toll of Dating App Burnout
This article broke my heart and I felt compelled to leave a comment: Here it is:
After a 17-year relationship ended, I found myself middle-aged and on dating apps for the first time. I dated on and off for about 5 years until I met my husband on OKC. At first, I approached the apps full of hopefulness and believed, as Ms. Silver did, that they were my path to love.
But after lots of disappointing dates and I realize that the apps were merely a tool to meet single men my age. If I wanted to find love, I was going to have to develop a strategy for doing so.
I got help and I looked at every piece of the dating experience to determine how to optimize it based on my goal of finding a loving, long-term relationship. I'm marketing, so we are always optimizing based on results, and I brought that mindset to dating.
I was that woman on different apps trying to find the right guy for me. But we can't allow ourselves to be victimized by dating apps. We need to realize that they are a means to an end and figure out what we need to do to ensure our mental health through the process.
Financial Times 8/19/22
Tinder struggles to attract younger users as Gen Z singles look to new apps
6/27/22: Vogue
How Gwyneth Paltrow’s Favorite Relationship Therapist Saved My Marriage
