Book review: Tinder Translator

Today wanted to share my review of my new favorite dating book Tinder Translator: An A–Z of Modern Misogyny. You can also read my review on Amazon, but they made me remove my favorite quotes at the end of the review because of “bad language.” :-/

TL;DR:  the author believes that most straight women have been conditioned from an early age to accept bad behavior from men and that many (but not all) straight men take advantage of this. In the book, she points out common red flags and argues that successful dating comes from both people knowing what they want.

Tinder Translator Review

As a dating and relationship coach, I read a lot of books on dating and many are filled with misguided nonsense about understanding men better and loving yourself more.  Aileen Barratt’s book, Tinder Translator is a welcomed relief from all of that pablum.

Barratt has an important message to share with daters. She believes that most straight women have been conditioned from an early age to accept bad behavior from men and that many (but not all) straight men take advantage of this. In Tinder Translator, she shares some of the red flags that point to bad behaviors that range from lazy to misogynistic. 

She makes the argument that it is healthier for women to date from a place of knowing what they want instead of being “not sure” or waiting to “see what happens” and that if a guy isn’t sure what he wants you will save yourself a lot of heartache if you swipe left and look for someone who is better able to articulate their needs and expectations. I couldn’t agree more!

I first heard of Aileen Barratt and her book on my Google Discover feed and after downloading and reading a Kindle sample, I bought the book and devoured it. Some may find this book anti-male, but Barratt takes great pains to point out that she is not talking about all men just some men. And when talking about those men she has nailed it.

Here are some of my favorite quotes:

“There are so many arrogant dudebros talking over us … or creeps sending us dick pics, that when a man listens to us for more than a minute and, you know, doesn’t sexually harass us, we immediately think he’s a dreamboat.”

“If you catch yourself saying ‘at least’ about a potential match, listen. You are not here for the least.”

“Trying to be what some men imagine as a ‘normal girl’ is an unsustainable feat. You might manage it for years, but eventually, you’ll start being more you. And he won’t like that. Worse than that, by dimming your own light or shining it all on him, you’ll never feel seen or loved as the whole person you are. And that shit is soul destroying, trust me.”

Do you have any dating books that you've found to be helpful?  Please send me your recommendations.  I'd love to hear about them! 

For more books to help you navigate the rocky road of dating, visit DIY: Self-Coaching resources to help you find love faster.