Awful Dating Advice: What You Shouldn't Do When Dating

Recently a dating site surveyed its users and found that 88 percent would prefer to date someone who’s in therapy. This is a staggering number and it's best taken with a grain of salt.

First, it is well-documented that it can be tricky to get accurate information thru surveys. One reason for this is Acquiescence bias, but there are other accuracy challenges as well.

These concerns did not stop a number of dating coaches from latching on to this "data- driven" research and recommending that daters share if they are in therapy on their first date.

This is awful dating advice

Even if the survey is true, any dating advice that tells you how you should be or what you should say when dating is problematic.

First, the survey question didn’t ask "should tell someone on a first date that you are in therapy?" It asked if a person would prefer to date someone in therapy. A person might prefer to date someone in therapy but feel that the first date is too early in the relationship to share that information.

Second, making it a requirement for a first date degrades sharing that you are in therapy to a bid for someone’s affection. Being in therapy is reduced to the level of other simplistic dating suggestions such as wearing red nail polish or a short skirt.

However, wearing a short skirt or being in therapy are not the only criteria that people use when choosing a partner. So suggesting sharing you are in therapy is a way to improve your chance in the dating pool is, in the end, misleading. It may help or it may hurt, depending on how the person receiving the information feels about when and how it is shared

The most important reason that you shouldn’t follow this advice is that the whole point of dating is to be yourself so that you find someone who appreciates you for you. And to do that, you need to be true to who you are. That includes what you choose to share on a first, second, or fifth date.

The bottom line is that whether or not you share that you are in therapy should be made based on how you feel about sharing the information. To do anything else is to not be true to yourself.

The bottom line is that telling a potential partner that you are in therapy is excellent advice for people who feel comfortable and natural doing it. If it feels right for you to do it, go for it.

But if you are someone who prefers to see if there is a second (or third or fifth) date before you share a lot of personal information about yourself, then wait until it feels comfortable and natural for you to share. This will also reduce the risk, should the date not work out, of worrying that the reason was the therapy reveal.

“When I was walking down the aisle, I was walking toward somebody who didn’t have any idea who I really was. And it was only half the other person’s fault, because I had done everything to convince him that I was exactly what he wanted.” — Maggie Carpenter, Runaway Bride

Be yourself when you date and you will find a partner who wants to be with someone just like you. That’s the best dating advice!

About Me 

Hi, I’m Rachel Simeone and my coaching practice is dedicated to ensuring that successful professional women, just like you, achieve the same success in their romantic relationships that they have in their careers. Through my signature coaching program, you will learn how to escape the misery of awful dates, meet better men and accelerate your ability to find a great partner.   

Check out my program to learn more about how we can partner to develop your custom dating strategy to the right relationship.

To get started, schedule a free dating strategy call.  On this call, we’ll identify your dating goals establish your dating style, and discuss a dating strategy that will empower you to find the relationship you desire faster and with less emotional toll.