Dating Quick Tip: The Power of Stillness

I love Leo Babauta of Zen Habits. His newsletter is one of the few that I subscribe to. This week his topic was stillness. In it, he points out that while going on a meditation retreat is a great way to find stillness, it’s not the only way.

He challenges his readers to seek stillness in everyday life and he offers the following suggestions:

• What if, when considering an important decision, you sat still for a few minutes and felt what your heart wants?
• What if you could pause between tasks, be still, and feel what's needed next?
• What if you shut down devices and let yourself settle into a peaceful stillness?
• What if you took time to sit still each day out in nature, to find wonder?

His email got me thinking about how stillness can add value when dating. I don’t know about you, but for me, stillness means turning down the relentless voice in my head that is constantly chattering about what I should do, say and think. Only once that voice has ceased yabbering, am I able to access the stillness inside of me. But once I do, I can finally tune into what my heart, my gut, and my intuition are telling me.

Let’s look at how can we can incorporate stillness into dating:

• What if, before beginning to date, you spent time sitting quietly and reflecting on what you need to flourish in a relationship? What types of things do you need to feel considered, appreciated, and cherished?
• What if, when writing your dating profile, you paused and connected with what is most important to you, your values, your most cherished dreams? What if you acknowledged your special gifts?What if you shared that on your dating profile instead of your favorite t.v. shows or bands?
• What if, during a date, you paused to check in with yourself and consider how your date makes you feel? 
• What if, when on a date, you take time to listen without judgment to what your date is saying and give yourself the space to allow your natural curiosity about the other person to expand?

How would you incorporate stillness into your dating? Your day-to-day? Your life?  Let me know!

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Dating Quick Tips share simple, actionable steps that you can take to improve your dating experience and dating outcomes. 

Transformation doesn't have to be long, hard, and expensive. These tips are designed to provide wisdom, helpful perspectives, and tools to evolve your dating life.